Primary.

I'm back in the blogosphere. Not really sure why I quit in the first place.

Oh. Right. I wanted more private release. I wanted my very own digital confessions booth. So I turned private. Turns out, I didn't much to confess to myself. I had some solid posts, but they were always darker things that I would rather avoid as the consistent thread in my writing. It also didn't seem to quite make sense to try to be funny by yourself or to receive no feedback regarding opinions you are itching to unleash. Things change when you know there's a potential audience.

I gave up two things recently. Not so much as new year's resolutions, because frankly, I don't really believe in that shit. My decision for self improvement just happened to dawn on the eve of 2009.

1. Smoking.
I've witnessed a rising anxiety level which I've thus far replaced with exercise. Operation Hot Bod and Operation No Ash are so far working hand in hand.

2. Casual hook ups.
So the last casual hook up I had turned out to be something like this:

I'm hanging out at home and receive a text.
"Hey, what are you doing."
I raise my eyebrows at the sender's name. "Nothing. At home. What's up"
"I want to come over and play with you."
I stare at my phone. This motherfucker. Seriously? Apparently some men still believe that repeated no's mean yes. My fingers punch the keyboard with more force than usual: "Stop texting me this bullshit with the pretense of wanting to be friends. No means no."
An almost immediate response: "LOL that's the funniest thing you've said in a while girl. Come on, be real."
Another text immediately follows: "I will eat you out like there's no pussy left on earth."

...

Then follows an hour-long stream of unanswered texts along the lines of, "I respect you but expect you to fuck" (it's almost poetic), "You're a slut and I'm a whore so let's get it on," "You deleted me off Facebook??? You can't deny what you really are... whore."

So Mr. Psycho isn't exactly representative of the general male population, I understand that. I just thought it was a good story. Not to mention that homeboy tried to add me on Facebook again two months later.

But let's be real. I can't do no strings attached, and frankly, unless both people have incredible emotive controls, consistent hook ups will most likely fuck shit up. All casual hook ups have gotten me is drama and/or confusion, so I'm quitting that shit.

I'm going to be a sober nun for as long as it lasts me. World, rejoice!