Jamie McCartney's "Vaginal Wall" based on molds of real vag
"
The Perfect Vagina" is a documentary that tries to get behind the motivations of women (and girls as young as
sixteen) who undergo vaginal surgery purely for aesthetic purposes.
The procedure in question is one where they basically snip off parts of your labia so that your vag looks more "tucked in," more "packaged," with nothing showing. Aka, no "beef curtains," no "hanging bits." They apply local anesthetic to your pom, then the doctor slices the extra flesh off and stitches the wounds.
Watching this documentary just triggered a flurry of thoughts.
First. Like all other forms of perfection that we (women) seek, whether it's your body, hair, face -- the desired change is always a result of some type of comparison. You see a girl slimmer than you, with longer legs than you, with clearer skin than you. You want what she has. You see it in the magazines, the models, the clothes, the glamor. You want what they have. When does a woman actually make the decision that her vagina doesn't look "right" or "pretty"? Unlike dicks, which seem to be much more openly discussed by men and women, there really isn't much conversation surrounding vaginal aesthetics. I mean, having to look at porn a good 70% of my time at work, I've probably seen every type of vagina you can imagine.
Nikki Tyler's vagina -- have it for $80
But what normal female does that, and who perpetuates this concept of an ideal vagina to the point where these women want to go under the knife? Porn? Doubtful, but maybe. Comments from men? Maybe. The latter is fucking ridiculous and appalling, but surely does the most damage. It also seems to be the more common factor amongst the women in the documentary who opt for surgery. That blows my mind and breaks my heart. To be honest, I've thought about vaginal surgery before. Not really
thought about it, but I can somewhat understand the thought process. I've looked at my pom and thought, this really isn't all that attractive. But then again, I think... whose really is? I'm not going to get older and have a vagina that looks like it belongs on a 15 year old.
Second. How much of this pressure for perfection stems from ourselves, and how much can we really blame on external influences? I really want to say, "ALL of it." I want to say that we all have the ability to stand up to pressure and live the way we want.. but how many turn that theory into legitimate practice? Insecurity is something that stems from an inadequate understanding of what is "real" and "normal;" we've been conditioned to aspire to unrealistic and unhealthy ends. I understand that external forces via the media and celebrities are incredibly powerful, but I find it more difficult to understand how children aren't raised to love themselves and question what is forcibly spoon-fed to them by society.
I didn't grow up in a traditional Chinese family, but I know them well enough to know that Asian parents will give it to you straight when they think you're fat. I also know Asian culture well enough to know that the widespread concept of "normal" and "skinny" are in fact, not fucking normal whatsoever.
When you grow up in an environment like that, can you really expect you and your friends to know any better? I wrote a
post a long while back about my body image in high school. I've been there. I'm not really sure what made me snap out of it. Maybe I grew up. Maybe I got tired. Maybe I just suddenly realized that I really didn't change by dropping 20 pounds. It was a part of my life that I'm so happy to say is long over.
You know what my mom said to me the other day? "
You were so pretty when you lost all that weight.
So pretty." Needless to say, that conversation ended as soon as it started.
And what about men? How far and how often do they perpetuate these expectations? Out of all the men I've dated (and I've had my share), only one has ever made a comment about my tremendous appetite in a... "concerned" manner. I told him to fuck himself. But I'm not going to deny that it made me self conscious. I'm also not going to deny that all the jokes people (mainly dudes) make about my eating has never had an effect on me.
Third. The double standard is still fucking at large.
Stay classy as always, D&G.
Of course
you're Italian.
Yes, I know men have body image issues. But honestly, guys, the pressure on young girls is ridiculous. It stems from external sources, then it's passed along from girl to girl with their constant comparison to each other and their critical eye. Nobody is more fierce than one girl judging another girl. We're constant in competition, and for what? Men, it seems. We seem to feel that we need that constant reassurance that we're worth it, more than others. My ex-boyfriend once told me that "99% of men do 99% of what they do for women." Well, you know what, I feel like the reverse is often true. To the point where we're now snipping off our labia so we can look "tighter." Don't even get me started on
hymenoplasty.
I have one friend who got her nose done and got botox at age 20.
I have a few beautiful friends who are convinced that breast implants will make them happier.
I have one friend who had bulimia and went through therapy at age 22.
I have a couple friends who have all tried the starve-yourself-skinny method to lose weight.
People call them crazy. Shit, I call them crazy. But is it really that crazy?
