Plumplings

Monthly resolution to make dumplings? Completed.

Veggies: Carrots, cabbage, scallions, onion and ginger


Condiments: Soy sauce, sesame oil, and white pepper (not pictured)


Protein: Firm tofu!



Chop chop:


Mince mince:


Dice dice:


Pan fry:


Mash and mix:


Scoop and fold:

As the Chinese dumplings come into being, so do the Russian piroshkis..

Chop chop (onion, fennel):

Blend (cream, potatoes, fennel):

Roll and wrap:

And the beautiful creatures come into being:

Piroshkis are best paired with ketchup and sour cream. Really.


But we don't need much here other than some pan-fried crispness:

Pillow war.

As for February 14th, I participated in the annual San Francisco pillow fight by the Ferry Building on Embarcadero. It was more like a war.

A fellow fighter, David, and I rushed on our bikes 20 minutes before it struck fight time. As we locked our bikes into place to the setting sun, the clock struck 6:00 PM. As the last bell sounded, the whole street burst into a sprint, some swinging their bulging down pillows by their side, others hugging onto theirs tightly, stumbling as they ran with all their might. An older man with bottle-cap glasses and billowy white hair ran into the middle of the traffic, put up his hand to stop the cars and screamed at us, "GO! GO! GO!"
We ran for our fucking lives and dove head first into the masses in the plaza.

And then madness:

Pillows burst. People screamed, laughed, raged. Feathers exploded and flew. It was like rising snow.

A girl thought it would be a good idea to wear a helmet until she heard a team of vigilantes: "GET THE GIRL WITH THE HELMET!"
And they pummeled the shit out of her.

Wading into the midst of the action was like being a blind man finding his way through a turbulent sea of cotton, feathers and elbows. You swung left and right, upwards and downwards, really never knowing who or what you were hitting. You got a little thump in the face, or in the back of your head. It was what I'd describe to be... a comfortable moshpit.

You saw flirtatious lovers. You sensed intense teenage angst. You saw an adult world transformed into one of children. You witnessed children completely immersed in this fantasy land, riding on their fathers' shoulders, bopping people left and right. You saw those who came to play, those who came to watch and the few who came to hurt. People kissed, people raged and lashed, people tripped and fell and put their arms up in victory and defense.

It was epic.

I'll leave you with this video, which does the scene some justice.

Cleansing.

So my conscious effort towards abstinence has evolved to encompass more than just the physical. Maybe that was the underlying idea all along, or maybe it's a natural progression -- snip one problem at the bud and all associated thorns will also gradually die. Maybe it wasn't so much the act of hooking up as it is all the baggage that may come with it, as it always is when it comes to me.

Sex fucks things up. Anything leading up to sex can also fuck things up.

I've known for some time that I have a tendency to associate myself with unnecessarily complicated people and situations. It wasn't that I didn't recognize them to be what they were -- I always know, pretty much from the start, but I was constantly willing to take them on as "challenges," forcing myself to believe that I could deal with anything and everything, seeing it as some type of test of character or resilience. I think it started when I was about 2+ years into my 3-year relationship. I got a little bored, a little restless. Then when I was newly single, I pushed my envelope further and further. The worst was when I spent my year in London, where I honestly think I did whatever the fuck I felt like with little to no control. The more emboldened I became from testing shallow waters, the more I threw myself into increasingly turbulent scenarios which I tried to convince myself that I could handle. Or that I didn't care. Some people have a problem with putting themselves out there, afraid of what might happen. I have a problem with not putting myself out there, fearful of what I might miss out on.

Pride and stubbornness have taken me very, very far -- far enough to the point of discomfort, to this recent point where I've sat myself down and said, "Enough with this shit and stop fucking around. Where has this shit taken you? Nowhere. You don't need to prove anything to anybody. Even yourself."

So I want to clarify that I'm not trying to be abstinent for the sake of being abstinent. If things come together right, if I can have the foresight to say that I really do want to be involved with someone, then anything goes. But having given myself that chance to be devoid of all and any potentially complicated relationships... I have come to accept that a simple, awesome and genuinely reciprocating relationship is going to take a long, long while to refine and build. That, I will have time for when it happens. What I don't have time for are all the people who, on the whole, add absolutely nothing substantive to my life. I know when you're going to be worth it, I know when you're not. I've always known. Friends and more-than-friends alike. The only difference now is that I actually act on it. Early.

This newly discovered clarity is kind of really fucking strange. All that restlessness and anxiety that I so often felt before has been replaced with a consistent, satisfying calmness. An intense focus on all things I want to develop, internally and externally. Probably also helps that I smoke and drink a hell lot less frequently and have upped the exercising and healthy eating... which makes my bad nights that much badder and that much more fun.

For the first time in a long, long time, I feel like I'm really treating myself well as a whole. And for the first time in a long time, I feel very whole. Yet this is the most single I've ever been.

And all it took... well. Yup. That's all it took.

Rambles and shambles.

What a fucking week, man. I thought last week was rough.

Just registered for the June LSAT's. $130.
New Asics running shoes because my old ones are 2+ years old and my arches are bitching and hurting quite a bit. $80 (with work discount).
Rent. $950.
In a couple weeks, I gotta pay for LSAT courses. $1450.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

This/next month is not conducive to saving money. But I'm also not traveling for at least until past June. I'm going to try to save like a fucking Chinaman during that time.

My anxiety to travel kicks in every couple of months. It's starting to kick in hardcore at the moment, but can't do much about that. I guess I'm thankful that there's a slough of visitors all throughout February and through early March. Then it's lock-down study time until June.

--

I watched this Emmy-winning documentary yesterday: Return to Africa's Witch Children
It describes the serious problem on how young children, as young as babies, are accused of being "witches" and "wizards" by Evangelical "pastors" in the Niger Delta. Led into believing that these "witches" are responsible for financial and familial woes, these children are shunned, tortured, and even killed by their villagers and their own families. "Pastors" charge fees for deliverance and exorcising these children. Parents pay. Sometimes by selling everything they own, which isn't much to begin with. For so many reasons, I seriously recommend this to everyone. It'll take you out of your element. And you can also help.

So many issues come to surface -- the importance of education. The abuse of religious authority and of human desperation. The lengths that people will go to climb out of a hole they were born into. Africa has always been a raw, mystic place that I've always doubted I could handle. An incredibly strong and stable friend of mine studied abroad in Africa, only to return early with serious psychological and physical damage, described his time as such: "Everything you have ever known or believed to be true, everything you valued -- it means nothing. Absolutely nothing."

--

Finished Middlesex today. It was fucking amazing. So rich and expansive, yet eloquently and simply put together. It was like a drawn out 5-course meal paired with the perfect bottle and an incredibly sophisticated dinner date. Considering buying Virgin Suicides. I'd like to start digging in to some technology/science-related material. Also books on the history and development of religion -- anything that's reasonably easy to read and objective (Hitchens is on my list, very open to other authors of differing perspectives). Considering going through some Bible parts.
Recommendations for anything related to the above are requested.

Note: wasn't very big on Freakonomics. It kind of bored me.

--

And now, slumber.
Sweet, sweet fucking slumber. Then... FRIDAY!!!