Go.

I think when it comes down to it, the thing that gets me most is the lack of motivation. Similar to wasted potential and missed opportunities.

You don't know how to get something done? Think about it.

You don't know how to solve a problem? Communicate it.

Whatever you do, don't run on assumptions and don't treat time as if it were limitless. Time is not limitless. And even if you think yours is, other people's may not be.

It's difficult for a person in my position to sympathize with those who lack initiative. And maybe it all breaks down to the lack of confidence, but it is hard work for someone like me to say, "That's okay, take your time, I know you'll get there eventually." It's difficult for someone like me to say, "It's okay to wait." Because someone like me lacks that virtue that we call patience. I'm fighting fucking hard to learn it, and I'm gaining some ground, but every day is a battle. It's a lifelong resolution that I'm seriously working at.

Maybe I need to stop treating every facet of life as if it were a path to some accomplishment, or at least stop expecting others to do so. But in a sense, isn't that what it is, assuming that life isn't just some long, pointless ride you happen to be on? I don't believe in the idea of waiting for happiness to come around. Happiness isn't a winning lottery number that you hope for, it's something you work for, something you know you deserve and so you lay yourself bare for it. Waiting and sailing along best serves the complacent.

I just don't believe in waiting for things to happen. If you want it, get it. If it's beyond your control, well. That's why I'm learning this thing called patience.

Maybe this all comes down to the fact that I'm not really comfortable with not knowing. I'm not comfortable with the ambiguous. I need a plan, I need backup plans, I need some type of forecasted action. Maybe this all comes down to the fact that I'm a control freak. I need to prepare for success, I need to prepare for the potential of failure. I have an answer for everything, even if that something doesn't have or need answers.

It's funny that people always say to me, "I know you, you can handle anything."

Do you really believe that or is my exterior invulnerability and preparedness that convincing?

I can handle anything until it breaks me down and I have to rebuild. Because you don't wait for a new beginning to come around.